#ADHD The Struggle is Real – A Personal Journey with Melissa Part #4
For Part 1 of the series Click Here
For Part 2 of the series Click Here
For Part 3 of the series Click Here
As I drove my son to school a few days before his 5th grade year began, I asked him if he remembered why he was going to help Mrs. E this specific day. He said he did. He remembered he threw a rock and it hit her car so he was going to help her get ready for the first day of school as a payback for him throwing the rock. Oops, never told the first part of the story…I think I have gone a bit ahead of myself… I do that too often.. So let’s back up a second. My son threw this rock and it hit Mrs. E’s car. Mrs. E was going to be his teacher for the next school year. Unfortunately, she was on a field trip and wouldn’t be back until later that day or maybe fortunately? LOL We waited until after school and came into her room. She didn’t know anything about it. Needless to say, she was taken back by the story and not happy. Christian apologized and truthfully, I have no idea how she was so gracious just finding this out because I don’t think I could have been. The three of us walked to the car, she did see a mark on the hood of her car and said she would talk to her husband and let us know the next day how to proceed. Our kids are going to do things. Things that no one is proud of but unfortunately, it’s part of the journey. Sometimes it’s worse than others but there really can be lessons with each incident. Mrs. E was an awesome example of this. The next day we met with her and she said she talked to her husband and they said not to worry about it. It was a small spot and with driving she was sure there will be others so she accepted his apology. I said he needed to do something to try to make amends and this is how we came up with the helping before school started. It was a few days before the end of the year and granted, I didn’t want this hanging over my son’s head but ADHD or not, I also wanted to be sure there was a lesson there and consequences. Regardless if someone has ADHD or not, there are always consequences to ones actions whether it be positive or negative. Rules to follow, responsibilities, etc. Even though his impulsive behavior may have had a lot to do with his actions, one still needs to understand that there is cause and effect. Mrs. E could have been livid, been very stern with my son, refused to teach him, insisted on further punishment and oh the list goes on and on. She didn’t. She was so gracious, compassionate and understanding. She really was the true meaning of a teacher. I will never forget how she made this a teaching moment and not a demeaning one for my son. For this I will forever be grateful. He helped her for three hours with books, getting things organized and moving things around for her. She said it was helpful and I am glad it was handled the way it was. Not every person or teacher for that matter, will handle it as well as this was. One can only hope. Teachers can mean the difference between a child feeling important and a child feeling useless. It’s important that our kids have teachers to lift them up. Mrs. E really rose to the occasion and encouraged my son to do the same. She specifically said before he left that “This is over. You have helped and now it’s over. We are starting fresh when you are in my class.” Again G R A C I O U S!!! I couldn’t just let it be though. I still felt compelled to give her a gift card for Barnes and Noble with a card telling her how much we appreciated her kindness and graciousness. Christian had a really good 5th grade year with a few bumps in the road but overall, he did well with Mrs. E’s help.
As a parent of someone with ADHD and someone myself who has it, dealing with ADHD can be a struggle. MANY things are in life though right? Many people don’t understand or truthfully don’t care to understand. SOOOO many people are wrapped up in their own stuff (me included sometimes) that I tend to forget where someone else may be in their life and what challenges they may be facing. Everyone has challenges in life whether it be family issues, school issues, sick loved one, procrastination, and the list can go on and on. Try to focus on the good qualities and improve on the challenges you face. If you have a hard time finding those qualities, ask a close trusted friend your top three qualities. See how you can use those as a jumping off point for your success. If you have a hard time doing a project, write a list of what things have worked for you in previous successful projects. See how you can use those successes to create more successes. If things don’t work, you don’t have to do them again or you can try to do them on a different project that it may work for. You don’t have to make it all or nothing. Everything is NOT black or white. This is something I am working on myself. There is A LOT of gray… and GRAY IS GOOD! Everything through life is an ongoing challenge. Your job is to try to get the most success throughout the journey. BE HONEST with yourself. ASK FOR HELP! Ask those with similar struggles that have success what they do to keep on track or follow through. Don’t take NO as an answer for yourself. There is an answer out there but it’s not going to fall on your lap. YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR IT. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU GOT THIS!!! If one door closes… maybe you need to look for the window that’s open 🙂
So the story continues…. At this point, Christian is about to start 6th grade and just graduated from 5th grade-elementary school. Normally one would still be in elementary school for sixth grade however in our community, we have a middle school that goes from 6th – 8th grades… So in MY reality as a Mom, Christian starts Junior High….. I think I am going to throw up….to be continued…